sigh

i feel like i'm failing as i fall futher and further behind in the things i had hoped to accomplish - whether simple or grand - and i wonder if there comes an end to this downward spiral. it seems at certain times on certain days that things are better but then i slip further down ... further still until like a cartoon character trapped in a whirlpool i am eventually sucked down a drain somewhere ... i wonder if its just the weather as its starting to turn cold again and its 'sposed to start raining .... i wonder ... if its because i'm weary or if i'm just worn out ... i wonder when i've gotten this old ... because i feel like i've gotten so old suddenly ... i've gone from young and full of life to worn and old and invisible ... sigh