Wednesday, September 01, 2010

It's just not working

There are days .......... many of them when I can just get on doing what I need to do, living how I know I should but today its just not working. I don't know maybe it's because the beginning of September always brought with it some sort of order to life that is not appearing this year, maybe its because I'm tired - the tossing and turning from the pain in my hip is wearing on me, or maybe I've woken up on the wrong side of the couch (the bed wasnt' working with my hip). In any case its noon and I've cried three times and justified myself at least that many and sworn twice (which is not typical). I am wishing to be anywhere but here right now... anywhere as in some distant place like London or New Zealand or Pluto for that matter. Running seems like a good option today but I can't even imagine how to do that with all the typical responsibilities of being a grown up and a wife and a mama tied around my ankles.

Sitting here isn't helping so I think I'll take the pretty little girl in the plaid skirt out to McDonald's for a happy meal (I may need to get my own "happy" meal)and then go run a couple of errands... some fresh air and a fresh perspective might do wonders .... and if not ... then we'll try something else.

I was putting together photobooks last night and thought to myself I wish my life looked like how all the pictures make it appear .... happy, carefree, joyful moments all strung together.

The first thing I read this mornings was a txt that said "<3 bless u with the ability to let go and let God today." ... wish I could ....

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